Marriage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.
- Montaigne

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-- Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives And the wife takes.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
-- Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?
-- Freud

The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines.
They gave him love and he invented marriage.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
- Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran

"The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much."
- Colin Chapman

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me and the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
-- Groucho Marx

My wife only has 2 complaints.
Nothing to wear and not enough closet space.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-- Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-- Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
-- Anonymous

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it.
The Thief spends less than my wife did.

A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend.
The woman replied, "multi-millionaire".