US Financial Program

Speaking of monkeys ...

"If you have difficulty understanding the current world financial situation, the following should help..."

Once upon a time in a village in India , a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.

The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50.'

The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere! Welcome to WALL STREET.

HYPNOSIS REALLY WORKS

A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone.'

'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened?'
His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
'I do not Have a Headache;
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache.'

It Worked! The headaches are all gone.'

The husband replies, 'Well, that is wonderful.'
His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?'
The husband agrees to try it



Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He Puts her on The bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back..'
He goes into The Bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, 'Boy, that was wonderful!'
The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.'
He goes back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'
With that, He goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom,

She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
'She's not my Wife.
She's Not my wife.
She's not my wife...'


His funeral service will be held on Friday.

Please be on time!!