How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Marian $hih


The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear Marian
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

No Boss?

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses’ wife instead:
“I’m afraid he died last week. ” she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
“I told you” the wife replies, “he died last week.”

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:

“I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?”


” Coz . . .” he replied laughing, “I just love hearing it”.