Cat listening to music

click on the images to see the animation...

Cat listening to Stevie Wonder

Cat listening to HOUSE music

Cat listening to Metal

Cat listening to Hip Hop

Cat listening to GANGSTA RAP

Cat listening to Techno (on Ecstasy)

For parents and parents to be

How would you react when you receive such a letter?

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home.

I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too -even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS:
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!

the secret to making a marriage last

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.

7. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically,100% of all divorces started with marriage.

8. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

9. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

10. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"....I said, "Dust!"

Toilet Poems

Excellent poems by not so famous poets...
found on toilet doors and walls..........

A budding poet trying his best...

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,

You're lucky,
You had your chance.
I tried to fart,
And shit in my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.

I came here
To shit and stink.
But all I do
Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose...

Some come here to sit and think
Some come here to shit and stink
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space.......

(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement.

We aim to please!
You aim too!.. Please.

On the inside of a toilet door:

Patrons are requested to remain seated
throughout the entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:

The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...
Please aim properly.

The story of a Red Indian - Onestone

There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone."
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.
He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

And what is the moral of this story?????............................


OH, come on...take a guess!



Think about it.



You're going to love this! :-)



And the moral is...


................


You can't kill two birds with one stone!!!

mobile phone tips

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELLPHONE COULD DO...

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for

survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: -

*EMERGENCY*
*I*

*The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112.* If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**

*II*
*Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys?*

This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:

If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.

Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!"*

*III*

Subject: Hidden Battery power

Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

AND
*IV*

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone:

* # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.

If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

weird facts

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola and Budweiser, in that order.

The reason fire-houses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second was William Jefferson Clinton.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. SCA RY!!!

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left-handed.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Almost everyone who reads this message will try to lick his elbow.

So, did you try to lick your elbow?

Funny letter from India

My dear Jagjit,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We are not living where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I am not able to send the address, as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet. But I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way, I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece we should remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love,
Mom.

P.S : Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Marriage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.
- Montaigne

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-- Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives And the wife takes.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
-- Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?
-- Freud

The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines.
They gave him love and he invented marriage.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
- Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran

"The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much."
- Colin Chapman

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me and the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
-- Groucho Marx

My wife only has 2 complaints.
Nothing to wear and not enough closet space.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-- Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-- Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
-- Anonymous

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it.
The Thief spends less than my wife did.

A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend.
The woman replied, "multi-millionaire".